Once
by RockerBabe414
Summary: Once, I could control myself.


**Once**

**Summary: **Once, I could control myself.

**Pairing:** Eames/Arthur is the pairing I'm going for, but it could realistically be any pairing you want.

**Rating:** M for sexual content

**Disclaimer:** Don't own. Yeah, I know massive shock!

**Notes: ** First time writing for this fandom, so please be gentle! So yeah. This story idea came to me when listening to Pearl Jam and reading Eames/Arthur fanfics at the same time. No idea if this is any good, so reviews would be greatly appreciated. Whether I should continue to multitask when reading fanfics is certainly up for debate! Any who…

_**Once.**_

Once, I wouldn't have minded the drive through one of the numerous nameless cities dotting the globe. The endless grey, of buildings and people alike.

My head hits the window none to gently as the driver makes a sharp left. He glances over at me, almost sheepishly. Inwardly, I grin at eliciting such a response from the man. These reactions from him are hardly common. Outwardly though, I wince. My head's still throbbing from the events of last night.

A job that went disastrously wrong always called for too many drinks afterwards.

It was a far too close call.

The problem with alcohol though, was that amazing and memorable events can take place, and the next day you are only left with a blur.

Well, at least _he _thinks. Me, I've always remembered. I might not let on to the fact, but I do remember.

Take now for instance.

He thinks I've forgotten the drunken kisses outside my hotel room door. He thinks I've forgotten the way his body felt pressed up against mine. But I haven't. Not even close.

Every detail noted and stored.

Like the way his voice sounded so strained when he claimed I didn't know what I was doing.

When he held me tight just that moment longer, before he left. Before I cried and emptied my stomach into the basin.

He claimed I didn't know what I was doing, but I did.

Fuck, I did.

A similar scenario had happened before. But the outcome was seemingly different.

Heated kisses had become so much more. I can feel my jeans growing tighter.

We had both let our guard down.

Death had been so close that day that it had seemed the only way to reaffirm ourselves and feel alive.

But same as this time, he had left me with more than an ache in my head. The pain in my chest had remained for far too long.

Maybe I'm a little masochistic to have let it nearly happen a second time. Nearly happen. He hadn't lowered his guard down like I. His walls were much higher, harder to scale and harder to bring down.

The breaks squeal and my body flies forward. My seatbelt nearly strangles me.

My driver slams his fist on the horn and shouts a few profanities. I smile weakly, without really knowing why. Perhaps it's because the string of curses leaving his mouth are having a certain affect on me.

I curl up slightly, leaning into the door. The coat on my lap thankfully hides my already half hard cock. I don't remember putting it there, but who am I to question it?

My hand slips under my waistband before my brain can register it. Shit. The alcohol from last night must still be effecting me, if I'm about to do what I'm about to do.

I shut my eyes, and pray that he thinks I'm sleeping.

Once, I could control myself. Control my urges when faced with the man next to me. I must be too far gone. His eyes are set on the road in front of him, hardly taking notice of me. I continue. Imagining it to be him giving me this pleasure.

Self loathing is definitely going to follow. Undeniably so. But at the present time, I hardly care.

I think he knows. No, I'm almost certain he knows.

His knuckles are white as he clenches the steering wheel.

Flushed lips and sharp, shallow breaths give him away.

But he continues on driving, not uttering a word.

I'm so close; I can feel the sensation about to reverberate throughout my whole being.

Without thinking, his name leaves my lips as a breathy, whispered moan.

He gasps softly, and the sound sends me over the edge.

He won't talk about it afterwards. I know this almost for certain. So I can indulge in this little fantasy, in this moment, just this once.

_**Once.**_

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So what did you think? Advice and review are absolutely welcomed.

**Love Peace and Rock always,**

**RockerBabe **


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